“Some of these guys will sound much better after they get shot.”

“Her kids are karma for being a bitch.”

“Kick Start My Heart? More like somebody get this guy a DNR.”

“He looks like a cross between Uncle Fester and Nathan Lane.”

“Your boat is the bathtub gin of boats.”

“I thought I smelled diet pork.”

“When I hear Poison, it makes me think 'this band is just a murder-suicide that didn't pan out.”

“Should've taken Eddie Vedder instead of Layne Staley.”

“You guys wanna go grab a couple more beers then try to dry hump that bowl some more?”

“Ticklesack.”

“I ran a red light the othe day with a joint in my mouth and a beer in the console.”

“Lucie Dacus sounds like fake Latin for diarrhea.”

“Nickelback is to rock music what AIDS was to Rock Hudson.”

“Corey Feldman's flying genetalia logo.”